I am addicted to Facebook. I really need to limit my time there. Even my kids roll their eyes when I roll my chair up to my desk and start typing.. "Gonna get on Facebook again Mom?" Uh, yeah, I am (and why do I feel guilty about this?)
I love the fact that I can keep in touch with so many people in such an easy way. I am getting to know people from my church that I hardly ever see on Sunday. I am getting to know anew the people I went to high school with over 15 years ago. (That has been really fun. We are finally getting past the competition and now we are on to being adults... with families and jobs and life.)
I do hope though, that I am not forsaking my relationships with others; that is, actual together time with them in favor of Facebook. It does help to meet together with others in the same room, face to face. I met up with my friend Kim whom I really don't see much of anymore and it was just so good to be in her presence. Just her sunny disposition, the sound of her happy voice. It did wonders for my spirit.
I have noticed that I am neglecting a certain important relationship I have. My friendship with Jesus, which should come first, has lately been in last place. The time that I used to spend drinking cocoa and reading my Bible has been replaced with Facebook. And all the cool apps on Facebook... like SuperPets and Typing Test and Speed Racing. Oh, come on, God understands how addictive Speed Racing is, doesn't He? Especially when I am trying to smoke the pastor's kid's car... No, I guess not. In the eternal scheme of things, I don't think it is doing much for my sanctification process. I just hope that God has some good go-carts in heaven. I'll put off Facebook Speed Racing in favor of reading my Bible if He does have go-carts.
Alright, I shouldn't bargain with God. But don't we? Isn't that such a picture of our relationship with God? Maybe only for beginner Christians, but even 7 years after inviting Christ to be my friend, I still try to bargain. I'll pray and be good, if you will bless my finances. I will read my Bible and memorize verses if you will look past the gossiping and judgment I was just involved in. I will serve in our church if... I will put up with annoying people if... If if if... And it goes on.
I long for the days when I have matured to the point where Jesus is the first person I turn to, not my computer, not even my phone. For the days when I love because I am full of God, not myself. When I obey because I love God, and not my own ambitions.
I like to think that even now, God is working this out in me. Already I have seen a change in my relationships in my family. Hopefully soon, God will work out my friend issues (that are about me, not my friends). But I have learned this: Seeking God first is putting everything else in line. No bargains, no ultimatims... just being aware of God through His Holy Spirit and being willing to change my attitude, behavior, and let go of my ambitions has led me to a deeper peace within. It's not a complete peace, yet, but I see that God is working in me. "Being confident in this, that He who began a good work in (me) will carry it on to completion..." Phillippians 1:6
Yes, God, complete the good work that YOU began in me. I am willing. (even if I have to limit my time on Facebook, you are worth it!)
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
It's Not Easy Being Me
About two years ago I was diagnosed with a "disorder." The diagnosis was triggered due to the shift work I was dealing with while working at Potlatch. The crazy sleep schedule was too much for me and a close friend noticed things weren't quite right about my thoughts/behaviour. She suspected Bipolar Disorder. (Formerly known as manic depression... ) I went through a questtionnaire with a psychiatrist (a PHD) and he confirmed the Bipolar Disorder. This was very scary to me. I had heard of BP D before, and it always seemed extreme and very negative. I wondered if that meant I was crazy... loony... wacko...
Actually, it was just that they gave me a name for symptoms I had experienced for quite a long time... probably beginning in my teens. It was (after the initial fright of it) kind of comforting to know that there was a name for what I go through, and a possible treatment.
I was assured that I was not crazy; that I am normal, and that my life will go on (and be better than before) with an understanding of the disorder and how it affects me. Basically, I tend to have high energy moods/days followed by low energy depressive moods/days. (Mania / Depression : this is where they got the name manic depression) I take some medications that help my brain not run a thousand miles a minute (sure, I like racing CARS but not racing thoughts!) However, this medication tends to slow me down a little too much, so I take another medication to pick me back up a bit. The combination really works well for me and I feel more "normal" than ever!
I do notice a difference in my behavior and mood if I don't take my medication, and it really isn't a great thing to miss the meds, so I continue them. Many people out there don't understand the need for medication and think that the medical establishment and pharmaceutical companies are just out to make money by drugging everyone (I believe that a portion of that is true - companies that try to make a profit are not always altruistic in nature)... however, I believe that my quality of life is greatly improved through medication.
Life with mild Bipolar Disorder isn't as bad as I thought, in fact, the worse part of BP is when people describe someone that is moody or has emotional difficulties as probably being Bipolar... and they mean it in a derogatory way - not in a way meant to want to help or understand them. Since not everyone I talk to knows that I am mildly Bipolar, when they label someone in this way it really bothers me.
Instead of judging people and labeling them in such ways, we all should try to understand each other and seek to help (in loving ways). If you suspect that a friend or loved one may struggle with Bipolar Disorder, please help them by first understanding that it is an affliction - not necessarily a choice to behave in such a manner - and secondly, encourage them to see a doctor or trained mental health counselor / psychiatrist. It may even save their life. (Especially if they are BP and it is severe... sometimes their behavior can put them in dangerous situations.)
Most of all, be kind and loving. Isn't that the essence of the Golden Rule?
Actually, it was just that they gave me a name for symptoms I had experienced for quite a long time... probably beginning in my teens. It was (after the initial fright of it) kind of comforting to know that there was a name for what I go through, and a possible treatment.
I was assured that I was not crazy; that I am normal, and that my life will go on (and be better than before) with an understanding of the disorder and how it affects me. Basically, I tend to have high energy moods/days followed by low energy depressive moods/days. (Mania / Depression : this is where they got the name manic depression) I take some medications that help my brain not run a thousand miles a minute (sure, I like racing CARS but not racing thoughts!) However, this medication tends to slow me down a little too much, so I take another medication to pick me back up a bit. The combination really works well for me and I feel more "normal" than ever!
I do notice a difference in my behavior and mood if I don't take my medication, and it really isn't a great thing to miss the meds, so I continue them. Many people out there don't understand the need for medication and think that the medical establishment and pharmaceutical companies are just out to make money by drugging everyone (I believe that a portion of that is true - companies that try to make a profit are not always altruistic in nature)... however, I believe that my quality of life is greatly improved through medication.
Life with mild Bipolar Disorder isn't as bad as I thought, in fact, the worse part of BP is when people describe someone that is moody or has emotional difficulties as probably being Bipolar... and they mean it in a derogatory way - not in a way meant to want to help or understand them. Since not everyone I talk to knows that I am mildly Bipolar, when they label someone in this way it really bothers me.
Instead of judging people and labeling them in such ways, we all should try to understand each other and seek to help (in loving ways). If you suspect that a friend or loved one may struggle with Bipolar Disorder, please help them by first understanding that it is an affliction - not necessarily a choice to behave in such a manner - and secondly, encourage them to see a doctor or trained mental health counselor / psychiatrist. It may even save their life. (Especially if they are BP and it is severe... sometimes their behavior can put them in dangerous situations.)
Most of all, be kind and loving. Isn't that the essence of the Golden Rule?
Friday, November 28, 2008
Ramblings of a Disheartened Friend
I don't have much to say... but I am tired of having my last blog post haunting me, so I am posting something new. (After I posted this, I realized I had a lot to say. Stuff that needed to be said, if for my own revelation.)
I realize I am not a very positive person. I am very detail-oriented - it's a blessing and a curse - but I often see the negative way before I see the positive. Even though Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday (yes, even above Christmas), and I have much to be thankful for, I have a hard time seeing the blessings. I could rattle off a whole bunch of obvious ones (health, home, family, CCS) but to find something positive about something in particular... that is very difficult for me.
I have a hard time seeing the good in people (and in situations). I wasn't always like that. I was Pollyanna... always finding something good in nearly every situation, every person. I have had my heart broken so many times because I saw the good in people who were soooo bad. But I knew inside of them, there was good. I remember being hurt so badly that although I didn't die, I am sure a part of my heart did. The part of my heart that loves freely, that believes, that trusts.
When I accepted Jesus as my Saviour, I thought that my heart would be made whole. Sure, I know that I am not made perfect in an instant... yes, my sins were forgiven and forgotten in the instant that I asked (even before), but my behavior, the awful sin nature that still lurks inside, gets removed ever so slowly over my lifetime as I seek to live according to God's will.
My heart was hurt so badly that I have a hard time loving. Yet, when I do, I DO. I love. I am loyal to those I open my life, my heart to; those that I believe are "safe" people. I long for deep, intimate friendships. Yet I find myself feeling betrayed by those I thought were my friends. I am finding that my "friends" are more like acquaintances, rather than people I can share myself with. It makes me sad. If I show the least bit of instability, a crabby attitude, a misspoken word, there is no one asking if there is something else going on... no one trying to understand... no one offering to pray...
It's this time in my life when I need friendships the most. My life, as some know, is very complicated and difficult. My heart is continually being torn apart by those I try to love. My tanks are dry. Is there no one available to fill them up? I am weary... is there no Aaron to lift my arms in this battle?
I know... the answer is Jesus, right? But I believe that we are created to have relationship with humans too... otherwise God wouldn't have made Eve... God would have been all Adam needed. I am not talking about marriage; I am talking about a friend. God knows we need friends. I need friends.
But I am afraid. Afraid to open my heart to anyone. Afraid that I won't measure up to others' expectations. Afraid that I am not who others think I am and that who I truly am isn't acceptable. Afraid that they don't want to hear about a life that is a daily struggle. (I can't force myself to pretend it is anything other than what it is.) Afraid that they too, are afraid that the messiness of my life may make their own lives messy. (I don't blame them for that...)
Well, got that off my chest. Aaah. That feels better.
At small group the other night, we talked about how we could better relate to others. I was so saddened by my lack of ability to even connect with others that I decided that right now, I am going to focus on Jesus as my friend. He will bring those who are to walk beside me. I need not look for them now. Jesus is to be the focus of my friendship need... And I will rest in Him.
For Jesus, I am thankful.
I realize I am not a very positive person. I am very detail-oriented - it's a blessing and a curse - but I often see the negative way before I see the positive. Even though Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday (yes, even above Christmas), and I have much to be thankful for, I have a hard time seeing the blessings. I could rattle off a whole bunch of obvious ones (health, home, family, CCS) but to find something positive about something in particular... that is very difficult for me.
I have a hard time seeing the good in people (and in situations). I wasn't always like that. I was Pollyanna... always finding something good in nearly every situation, every person. I have had my heart broken so many times because I saw the good in people who were soooo bad. But I knew inside of them, there was good. I remember being hurt so badly that although I didn't die, I am sure a part of my heart did. The part of my heart that loves freely, that believes, that trusts.
When I accepted Jesus as my Saviour, I thought that my heart would be made whole. Sure, I know that I am not made perfect in an instant... yes, my sins were forgiven and forgotten in the instant that I asked (even before), but my behavior, the awful sin nature that still lurks inside, gets removed ever so slowly over my lifetime as I seek to live according to God's will.
My heart was hurt so badly that I have a hard time loving. Yet, when I do, I DO. I love. I am loyal to those I open my life, my heart to; those that I believe are "safe" people. I long for deep, intimate friendships. Yet I find myself feeling betrayed by those I thought were my friends. I am finding that my "friends" are more like acquaintances, rather than people I can share myself with. It makes me sad. If I show the least bit of instability, a crabby attitude, a misspoken word, there is no one asking if there is something else going on... no one trying to understand... no one offering to pray...
It's this time in my life when I need friendships the most. My life, as some know, is very complicated and difficult. My heart is continually being torn apart by those I try to love. My tanks are dry. Is there no one available to fill them up? I am weary... is there no Aaron to lift my arms in this battle?
I know... the answer is Jesus, right? But I believe that we are created to have relationship with humans too... otherwise God wouldn't have made Eve... God would have been all Adam needed. I am not talking about marriage; I am talking about a friend. God knows we need friends. I need friends.
But I am afraid. Afraid to open my heart to anyone. Afraid that I won't measure up to others' expectations. Afraid that I am not who others think I am and that who I truly am isn't acceptable. Afraid that they don't want to hear about a life that is a daily struggle. (I can't force myself to pretend it is anything other than what it is.) Afraid that they too, are afraid that the messiness of my life may make their own lives messy. (I don't blame them for that...)
Well, got that off my chest. Aaah. That feels better.
At small group the other night, we talked about how we could better relate to others. I was so saddened by my lack of ability to even connect with others that I decided that right now, I am going to focus on Jesus as my friend. He will bring those who are to walk beside me. I need not look for them now. Jesus is to be the focus of my friendship need... And I will rest in Him.
For Jesus, I am thankful.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Hello? Anyone here? Should there be?
Just checking to see if anyone actually reads this. Not that I check it every day for comments or anything. I didn't even start this blog with the idea that others would read it. It was to be a diary of whatevers for me to able to think about, mull over, contemplate, and get off my chest.
But then I got hooked on writing for an audience. That was never my intention, but my good friend Pride showed up and said "Hey, you should try impressing people... write something interesting." So I tried. I tried to be clever; wise; funny. I forgot that I was writing for the act of expressing.
So, Pride, I am kicking you to the curb. If no one ever reads my blog or comments or gives me a tag or award, that's okay. Stop trying to make me feel guilty or lesser for it! If others don't find bits and pieces of my life a masterpiece in progress, that's ok, because I already know it is. At that point, it becomes a recognition of God's handiwork, not my own. So here's the Tonya Harding moment... knocking Pride in the knees... time to be humbled!
God, I thank you that what you are making of my life is a masterpiece. It may look disjointed and messy to me, but you are doing something amazing. Thanks for reminding me. I know what a screw-up I may seem to the world, but I do my best and you give me an A for effort. All I need to do is live to please you. Give me the courage to do just that!
Aaah.. that feels better.
But then I got hooked on writing for an audience. That was never my intention, but my good friend Pride showed up and said "Hey, you should try impressing people... write something interesting." So I tried. I tried to be clever; wise; funny. I forgot that I was writing for the act of expressing.
So, Pride, I am kicking you to the curb. If no one ever reads my blog or comments or gives me a tag or award, that's okay. Stop trying to make me feel guilty or lesser for it! If others don't find bits and pieces of my life a masterpiece in progress, that's ok, because I already know it is. At that point, it becomes a recognition of God's handiwork, not my own. So here's the Tonya Harding moment... knocking Pride in the knees... time to be humbled!
God, I thank you that what you are making of my life is a masterpiece. It may look disjointed and messy to me, but you are doing something amazing. Thanks for reminding me. I know what a screw-up I may seem to the world, but I do my best and you give me an A for effort. All I need to do is live to please you. Give me the courage to do just that!
Aaah.. that feels better.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
The sweetest baby boy ever and his super fun big brother
Oh how I wish he were mine!! The most beautiful baby boy I have ever laid eyes on...
Introducing my new nephew, Colton James Rowan. He is approximately 6 weeks old in the photo. He is the most beautiful baby boy I have ever seen. Creamy sweet skin you just want to nuzzle.
This is my nephew Tucker Allen; he is Colton's big brother. He's about 3 1/2 in the photo. A ball of energy, this one! And so sweet. He has the cutest expressions. He's like an old man in a little kid body. His voice and the things he says just crack me and his cousin Melanie up... He adores Melanie (and she loves him, and Colton too!)
Introducing my new nephew, Colton James Rowan. He is approximately 6 weeks old in the photo. He is the most beautiful baby boy I have ever seen. Creamy sweet skin you just want to nuzzle. This is my nephew Tucker Allen; he is Colton's big brother. He's about 3 1/2 in the photo. A ball of energy, this one! And so sweet. He has the cutest expressions. He's like an old man in a little kid body. His voice and the things he says just crack me and his cousin Melanie up... He adores Melanie (and she loves him, and Colton too!)This is Colton last Saturday. He is now 4 1/2 months old and is such a sweetheart. He laughs and coos and gurgles and raspberries and drools. Boy does he drool! He makes the funniest faces and I just sat holding him and looking at him and adoring him until I realized I needed Melle to hold him so I could take pictures - so that I could look at him long after his momma took him home. Isn't he sweet? I want one I want one I want one... Maybe for Christmas?
Melle's Auntie Sarah is such a sweetheart to bring him and Tucker by for a visit... I love watching her be a mommy now; I remember when she would babysit Melanie for me! And now Melanie is babysitting for her!
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Great New Read
I am in the middle of reading "The Shack." It's been talked about quite a bit and I finally broke down and bought it. Phil devoured it in less than 2 days and now it's my turn. It seemed slow going at first, but that was because it challenged some of my perceptions of things/people. Now I can hardly put the book down. It really is that good!
I am looking forward to discussing the book with Phil when I am done reading it. If you have read it, please comment me. I would love to find others to discuss it with. What are you getting out of it? How has it challenged you?
Other than that, life is boring here. Just house cleaning and grape juice/jelly making time and me vacuuming up leaves almost every day. Honestly, I love this time of year... the rain, the dark gray clouds, the Hot Cocoa!!! Oh, and I got to hold the most beautiful baby boy I have ever seen... I will post pictures someday. You will want to kiss his precious little cheeks. He's just that sweet!
I am looking forward to discussing the book with Phil when I am done reading it. If you have read it, please comment me. I would love to find others to discuss it with. What are you getting out of it? How has it challenged you?
Other than that, life is boring here. Just house cleaning and grape juice/jelly making time and me vacuuming up leaves almost every day. Honestly, I love this time of year... the rain, the dark gray clouds, the Hot Cocoa!!! Oh, and I got to hold the most beautiful baby boy I have ever seen... I will post pictures someday. You will want to kiss his precious little cheeks. He's just that sweet!
Sunday, October 26, 2008
No Place Like Home
So I got home early Friday morning. I was so tired. While I was in California, it was go go go until I dropped into bed at the hotel each night.
Being with Mom was different than other times. God really blessed me with a lot of compassion and grace and patience... well, the patience was running out but I called home and Emily prayed with me and the patience tank was filled up again. I loved being able to bless mom. I cleaned her house, did laundry, and made a bunch of dinners to put in her freezer for later.
Her injuries were, well, I really don't know. I never saw the doctor. And though he came to check on Mom a couple of times, she doesn't even know the extent of her injuries. When I got to the hospital on Sunday evening, she had all these rods sticking out of her arm. 11 of them I think, or 13? Anyway, after her surgery on Monday, they took all the rods out. She has pins in her elbow, but we don't know how many. She can bend her elbow, and is even encouraged to do so, but it's freaky to do so, knowing that you have all this metal inside holding you together. The hand on the arm that was broken - wait that's not right, we found out that her other elbow is also has a fracture! So let me put it this way, on the arm with the most damage, her hand has swollen up like a water balloon. It's scary really. I was joking that we could prick it with a pin and let the pressure out but mom said she thinks it would blow out if we did, so we threw that idea out. Mom is in good spirits despite the pain and the inconvenience.
All I know is that she is off work for 4 months. 4 months!! Sheesh, what is she going to do? I wish she could come stay with us for some of the time. But I am so thankful that I was able to come down and help her out. I think it helped our relationship. It felt good to honor her, and I am hoping that she is beginning to see that she is a very valuable, loved, and special person to many.
I also got to know a wonderful young woman named Shelly who was mom's hospital roommate. She was in after having surgery for Diverticulitis and was in quite a bit of pain. The hospital staff were not very responsive to either Mom or Shelly and it was frustrating to see these women go without necessary things like water and food. I offered to help Shelly when I heard her moaning in pain one evening and that began a quick friendship. Every morning I would come, saying "good morning, ladies" and Shelly would say, "where have you been?" I loved visiting with her and mom. Shelly has been through a lot in her life, but is going to church and trying to live a life that reflects her values. I am proud of her and so blessed by getting to know her. We exchanged contact information and I intend to keep in contact with this wonderful woman.
I also got to visit with my grandparents who live approximately an hour from the airport. I drove up there on the day I left and we had a short but sweet visit. I just love my grandpa and grandma and we have recently been reconciled after a long period of not talking (my fault). So good to see them and be at their house. It is a very special place to me.
But the best place? HOME! I smiled when I saw my van in the parking lot at the Spokane Airport. Surprised I missed it, because I really really liked the cute rental car I had. But seeing the van was like knowing I'm home. I got home late and slept in the next day, so I didn't actually see my girls until the afternoon, but I was so glad to see them, and I think they were just as happy to see me. Phil did a wonderful job as Dad and as he filled-in for me. Thanks to Stephanie Elliott and Kim Weber for getting my kids home from school and to dance class. I know that helped Phil so much. And it put my mind at ease too!
I still haven't gotten back into routine, but I will by Monday morning... the schedule doesn't give me much choice! Right now, I am just enjoying being home.
PS Thanks to all who asked about Mom. She has no idea the amount of people asking about and praying for her. It would blow her away if she knew. Keep up the prayers. She still needs them!
Being with Mom was different than other times. God really blessed me with a lot of compassion and grace and patience... well, the patience was running out but I called home and Emily prayed with me and the patience tank was filled up again. I loved being able to bless mom. I cleaned her house, did laundry, and made a bunch of dinners to put in her freezer for later.
Her injuries were, well, I really don't know. I never saw the doctor. And though he came to check on Mom a couple of times, she doesn't even know the extent of her injuries. When I got to the hospital on Sunday evening, she had all these rods sticking out of her arm. 11 of them I think, or 13? Anyway, after her surgery on Monday, they took all the rods out. She has pins in her elbow, but we don't know how many. She can bend her elbow, and is even encouraged to do so, but it's freaky to do so, knowing that you have all this metal inside holding you together. The hand on the arm that was broken - wait that's not right, we found out that her other elbow is also has a fracture! So let me put it this way, on the arm with the most damage, her hand has swollen up like a water balloon. It's scary really. I was joking that we could prick it with a pin and let the pressure out but mom said she thinks it would blow out if we did, so we threw that idea out. Mom is in good spirits despite the pain and the inconvenience.
All I know is that she is off work for 4 months. 4 months!! Sheesh, what is she going to do? I wish she could come stay with us for some of the time. But I am so thankful that I was able to come down and help her out. I think it helped our relationship. It felt good to honor her, and I am hoping that she is beginning to see that she is a very valuable, loved, and special person to many.
I also got to know a wonderful young woman named Shelly who was mom's hospital roommate. She was in after having surgery for Diverticulitis and was in quite a bit of pain. The hospital staff were not very responsive to either Mom or Shelly and it was frustrating to see these women go without necessary things like water and food. I offered to help Shelly when I heard her moaning in pain one evening and that began a quick friendship. Every morning I would come, saying "good morning, ladies" and Shelly would say, "where have you been?" I loved visiting with her and mom. Shelly has been through a lot in her life, but is going to church and trying to live a life that reflects her values. I am proud of her and so blessed by getting to know her. We exchanged contact information and I intend to keep in contact with this wonderful woman.
I also got to visit with my grandparents who live approximately an hour from the airport. I drove up there on the day I left and we had a short but sweet visit. I just love my grandpa and grandma and we have recently been reconciled after a long period of not talking (my fault). So good to see them and be at their house. It is a very special place to me.
But the best place? HOME! I smiled when I saw my van in the parking lot at the Spokane Airport. Surprised I missed it, because I really really liked the cute rental car I had. But seeing the van was like knowing I'm home. I got home late and slept in the next day, so I didn't actually see my girls until the afternoon, but I was so glad to see them, and I think they were just as happy to see me. Phil did a wonderful job as Dad and as he filled-in for me. Thanks to Stephanie Elliott and Kim Weber for getting my kids home from school and to dance class. I know that helped Phil so much. And it put my mind at ease too!
I still haven't gotten back into routine, but I will by Monday morning... the schedule doesn't give me much choice! Right now, I am just enjoying being home.
PS Thanks to all who asked about Mom. She has no idea the amount of people asking about and praying for her. It would blow her away if she knew. Keep up the prayers. She still needs them!
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Our Party of 5 is not feeling like a party right now
Just to let you know, I will be absent from Blogland for a while. Mom had a crash with her bicycle last Thursday. It just happened to be her birthday and she was out riding her bike when along came a vehicular death machine (car) who cut her off, forcing her to slam on brakes, which of course, caused her to end-o. She ended up with (I think) multiple compound fractures to her left arm. (Whatever all that means) All I know is that she said that "when (she) came to" people were all around and her arm was dangling like a noodle from her elbow. She also said that the bones were sticking out of her skin. Gross (but I have always wanted to see that)
Anyway, she had surgery on Friday and is having another on Monday. I really felt like I needed to be there. I used some frequent flyer miles we have been hoarding and I am flying out Sunday afternoon. I am busy trying to get life all tied up pretty for Phil this week while I am gone, and it is hard because I have been gone to scrap retreat all weekend. I came home early so I could get scheduling and laundry taken care of. Of all weeks, this is an extremely hectic one, so I am going to call around on Monday and cancel (almost) all of our appointments.
One appointment not cancelled is for Melanie at the orthodontist's... She is finally getting her braces off, and to tell the truth (though it isn't Tuesday) I am sad that I won't be there. For me, it's a milestone. Like walking. You coax and steady and encourage your little one to walk and all of a sudden the kid is running laps around your kitchen island laughing because...well because she can. Anyway, this is a milestone in the same way: I coaxed, encouraged, bribed, threatened and forced Melle to wear her rubber bands, to brush her teeth, to wear her rubber bands and FINALLY I am, I mean Melle is, getting the reward - braces off on Tuesday! Yay!!
But coming home on Thursday and seeing those braces off will be like picking up your kid from daycare and having the 19 year old "teacher" tell you that your precious daughter took her first steps today while you were at work. Ugh... Kind of sad.
Anyway, I will not be blogging, no Facebooking, nothing for a while. I plan on being back in less than a week, but I have no idea what the treatment is like for Mom's injury, so I need to know in order to help get her life in some order before I go. It really is hard when you have few people in your area to help you in times like this. There are some places/people I will be contacting to try to help her out while I am there.
For those of you who pray, please do. Mom needs it and so do I. I have been feeling quite down lately and while this is a diversion from the daily grind, this "depression" is wearing me down. I have family and friends who also have family members battling cancer, mental health problems, and a close friend who had a close call with some health issues too. My man will definitely need prayer now that he has to shuttle the kids around to different places at different times. I know it will be hard for him, and my girls too. Finally, I am afraid of how Melle is going to take me being gone and my mom being in the hospital. Melle used to be quite attached to "grammee" and to have her injured and her own mom not here to comfort her fears will be difficult. So pray for my family if you will, I would certainly appreciate it.
Anyway, she had surgery on Friday and is having another on Monday. I really felt like I needed to be there. I used some frequent flyer miles we have been hoarding and I am flying out Sunday afternoon. I am busy trying to get life all tied up pretty for Phil this week while I am gone, and it is hard because I have been gone to scrap retreat all weekend. I came home early so I could get scheduling and laundry taken care of. Of all weeks, this is an extremely hectic one, so I am going to call around on Monday and cancel (almost) all of our appointments.
One appointment not cancelled is for Melanie at the orthodontist's... She is finally getting her braces off, and to tell the truth (though it isn't Tuesday) I am sad that I won't be there. For me, it's a milestone. Like walking. You coax and steady and encourage your little one to walk and all of a sudden the kid is running laps around your kitchen island laughing because...well because she can. Anyway, this is a milestone in the same way: I coaxed, encouraged, bribed, threatened and forced Melle to wear her rubber bands, to brush her teeth, to wear her rubber bands and FINALLY I am, I mean Melle is, getting the reward - braces off on Tuesday! Yay!!
But coming home on Thursday and seeing those braces off will be like picking up your kid from daycare and having the 19 year old "teacher" tell you that your precious daughter took her first steps today while you were at work. Ugh... Kind of sad.
Anyway, I will not be blogging, no Facebooking, nothing for a while. I plan on being back in less than a week, but I have no idea what the treatment is like for Mom's injury, so I need to know in order to help get her life in some order before I go. It really is hard when you have few people in your area to help you in times like this. There are some places/people I will be contacting to try to help her out while I am there.
For those of you who pray, please do. Mom needs it and so do I. I have been feeling quite down lately and while this is a diversion from the daily grind, this "depression" is wearing me down. I have family and friends who also have family members battling cancer, mental health problems, and a close friend who had a close call with some health issues too. My man will definitely need prayer now that he has to shuttle the kids around to different places at different times. I know it will be hard for him, and my girls too. Finally, I am afraid of how Melle is going to take me being gone and my mom being in the hospital. Melle used to be quite attached to "grammee" and to have her injured and her own mom not here to comfort her fears will be difficult. So pray for my family if you will, I would certainly appreciate it.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Tuesday Truth
Some people have Friday Facts, others have Thursday Thirteen. I have decided to go with Tuesday Truth (because it's Tuesday and I really don't know what to write about and don't have a nifty day-related post). So here goes:
Scrapbook retreats freak me out. I never know what to bring, what to do, how to do it, where to put it, etc. I get paralyzed just sitting there looking at photos... what paper should I use, what kind of layout works with the photos I have, where are we, who are these people, etc.
And yet, I am counting the hours until I get to go. And I know how the first 2 hours will (probably) go: Bring everything to the scrap room. Get organized. Drink lots of Diet Pepsi. Get photos out. Stare at them. Chat and chat some more. Go to the bathroom. Stroll by the snack table. Sit down and stare at photos and (inwardly) curse myself for the total lack of creativity in my person. Push papers around, dig through magazine pages and curse myself again for not scrapping like the real pros do...
I love scrap retreats.
Why? No husband to share bed with. No house to clean. No food to cook. No schedule to keep. Just me, my friends, and photos of my family which I will soon be missing (and calling on my cell phone the second I have one measly bar of service)...
I will get pages done. They will look fantastic - and not anything like the magazines - and that's ok!
37 hours until we hit the road! Woo hoo!
PS I won't be checking anyone's blog or Facebook the entire time. I might go insane because I am addicted. And that's the Tuesday Truth.
Scrapbook retreats freak me out. I never know what to bring, what to do, how to do it, where to put it, etc. I get paralyzed just sitting there looking at photos... what paper should I use, what kind of layout works with the photos I have, where are we, who are these people, etc.
And yet, I am counting the hours until I get to go. And I know how the first 2 hours will (probably) go: Bring everything to the scrap room. Get organized. Drink lots of Diet Pepsi. Get photos out. Stare at them. Chat and chat some more. Go to the bathroom. Stroll by the snack table. Sit down and stare at photos and (inwardly) curse myself for the total lack of creativity in my person. Push papers around, dig through magazine pages and curse myself again for not scrapping like the real pros do...
I love scrap retreats.
Why? No husband to share bed with. No house to clean. No food to cook. No schedule to keep. Just me, my friends, and photos of my family which I will soon be missing (and calling on my cell phone the second I have one measly bar of service)...
I will get pages done. They will look fantastic - and not anything like the magazines - and that's ok!
37 hours until we hit the road! Woo hoo!
PS I won't be checking anyone's blog or Facebook the entire time. I might go insane because I am addicted. And that's the Tuesday Truth.
Friday, October 10, 2008
A week from now and...
In less than a week I will be at scrapbooking retreat... I am sooo looking forward to this!! So, in anticipation and with the hope that I won't be using up half my time trying to decide what layout to use and what photo and what paper and what embellishments, etc. (which is what always happens!) I am looking for layout sketch ideas for 2, 3, 4 photos per 12x12 page. If any of you happen to have ideas or know of good websites for layouts (I don't want to hunt too much - leave that to the men... I am more of a gatherer than hunter!) Please comment me with good sites or ideas you have. Thanks. I am looking forward to a relaxing and fun weekend with some productivity and not a lot of wasted, frustrated time!
Also, the weekend after our kid's school is having their annual Cow Plop. If you don't know what that is (and that's only because I haven't bugged you about buying a ticket or two) then let me explain: People buy a ticket which is then given a number on a grid. The grid is marked by a survey team in a pasture. The cow is let into the pasture. When the cow "plops" they mark the location of the plop and if it is on your area of the grid you WIN MONEY! You can win $200, $500, and $1000!!!! Tickets are $4 each or 6 for $20. Really a good return on investment if you win, and still a good investment as the money goes to fund our wonderful school. Besides all that, there is an traditional kids' harvest carnival with fun games (fish pond, cake walk, etc), concessions (chili, hot cocoa, bake sale, etc) and lots of time to gather with friends and family! If you haven't come before, please make it a part of your weekend (Oct 25, 12 - 3 pm). It's a great family activity and has become a tradition for many. Our family looks forward to it each year. It all happens across from Walker Field on 4th Street in Lewiston Orchards. If you are interested in tickets, please comment me or call.
Finally, on the same weekend as Cow Plop, our church is hosting a "SCRAFT" weekend which is from 6 pm to 10 pm Friday the 24th and 8 am to 8 pm Saturday the 25th. SCRAFT is a combination of Scrap + Craft = SCRAFT... So whether you scrapbook, make cards, knit, crochet, quilt, needlework, etc... if it's a craft bring whatever you are working on or a project you need to start to River City Church and join some fun ladies for crafting and conversation. No cost, just bring a snack to share if you can.
Hmmm. I know there is much more going on, but those are what I am excited about right now. Of course, I also have Bunco that week and I think Scrapbook group sometime in the same period... I will be busy!!
Also, the weekend after our kid's school is having their annual Cow Plop. If you don't know what that is (and that's only because I haven't bugged you about buying a ticket or two) then let me explain: People buy a ticket which is then given a number on a grid. The grid is marked by a survey team in a pasture. The cow is let into the pasture. When the cow "plops" they mark the location of the plop and if it is on your area of the grid you WIN MONEY! You can win $200, $500, and $1000!!!! Tickets are $4 each or 6 for $20. Really a good return on investment if you win, and still a good investment as the money goes to fund our wonderful school. Besides all that, there is an traditional kids' harvest carnival with fun games (fish pond, cake walk, etc), concessions (chili, hot cocoa, bake sale, etc) and lots of time to gather with friends and family! If you haven't come before, please make it a part of your weekend (Oct 25, 12 - 3 pm). It's a great family activity and has become a tradition for many. Our family looks forward to it each year. It all happens across from Walker Field on 4th Street in Lewiston Orchards. If you are interested in tickets, please comment me or call.
Finally, on the same weekend as Cow Plop, our church is hosting a "SCRAFT" weekend which is from 6 pm to 10 pm Friday the 24th and 8 am to 8 pm Saturday the 25th. SCRAFT is a combination of Scrap + Craft = SCRAFT... So whether you scrapbook, make cards, knit, crochet, quilt, needlework, etc... if it's a craft bring whatever you are working on or a project you need to start to River City Church and join some fun ladies for crafting and conversation. No cost, just bring a snack to share if you can.
Hmmm. I know there is much more going on, but those are what I am excited about right now. Of course, I also have Bunco that week and I think Scrapbook group sometime in the same period... I will be busy!!
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