Friday, December 30, 2011


Seems I have been seeing red a lot these days. Is this what raising teenagers does to a normally sane person? As much as I love my kids, I find myself "hiding" in the office or my bedroom. No matter what I say I end up making someone cranky with me. Or maybe it isn't the teenagers at all. Maybe, its me.

Have I changed so much that I am completely out of touch with others feelings? Am I so socially disconnected and self absorbed that I can't relate to anyone but myself?

I do find that I have isolated myself from friends, and even from family. Recent stresses in my life have found me pulling inward, rather than reaching out. No one seems able to understand or even to empathize with where I am. Few of my friends get me, or get the situation I am in. I can think of two wonderful women that I can talk to about these things. We don't see each other often, or talk much, but when we do, it is instant relief.

Unfortunately, I don't want to talk to anyone, even them. I don't want to explain myself, I don't want to consider what to do next, or the consequences of what's already done.

I just want to live my life in peace. And so, I continue to hide.