I am addicted to Facebook. I really need to limit my time there. Even my kids roll their eyes when I roll my chair up to my desk and start typing.. "Gonna get on Facebook again Mom?" Uh, yeah, I am (and why do I feel guilty about this?)
I love the fact that I can keep in touch with so many people in such an easy way. I am getting to know people from my church that I hardly ever see on Sunday. I am getting to know anew the people I went to high school with over 15 years ago. (That has been really fun. We are finally getting past the competition and now we are on to being adults... with families and jobs and life.)
I do hope though, that I am not forsaking my relationships with others; that is, actual together time with them in favor of Facebook. It does help to meet together with others in the same room, face to face. I met up with my friend Kim whom I really don't see much of anymore and it was just so good to be in her presence. Just her sunny disposition, the sound of her happy voice. It did wonders for my spirit.
I have noticed that I am neglecting a certain important relationship I have. My friendship with Jesus, which should come first, has lately been in last place. The time that I used to spend drinking cocoa and reading my Bible has been replaced with Facebook. And all the cool apps on Facebook... like SuperPets and Typing Test and Speed Racing. Oh, come on, God understands how addictive Speed Racing is, doesn't He? Especially when I am trying to smoke the pastor's kid's car... No, I guess not. In the eternal scheme of things, I don't think it is doing much for my sanctification process. I just hope that God has some good go-carts in heaven. I'll put off Facebook Speed Racing in favor of reading my Bible if He does have go-carts.
Alright, I shouldn't bargain with God. But don't we? Isn't that such a picture of our relationship with God? Maybe only for beginner Christians, but even 7 years after inviting Christ to be my friend, I still try to bargain. I'll pray and be good, if you will bless my finances. I will read my Bible and memorize verses if you will look past the gossiping and judgment I was just involved in. I will serve in our church if... I will put up with annoying people if... If if if... And it goes on.
I long for the days when I have matured to the point where Jesus is the first person I turn to, not my computer, not even my phone. For the days when I love because I am full of God, not myself. When I obey because I love God, and not my own ambitions.
I like to think that even now, God is working this out in me. Already I have seen a change in my relationships in my family. Hopefully soon, God will work out my friend issues (that are about me, not my friends). But I have learned this: Seeking God first is putting everything else in line. No bargains, no ultimatims... just being aware of God through His Holy Spirit and being willing to change my attitude, behavior, and let go of my ambitions has led me to a deeper peace within. It's not a complete peace, yet, but I see that God is working in me. "Being confident in this, that He who began a good work in (me) will carry it on to completion..." Phillippians 1:6
Yes, God, complete the good work that YOU began in me. I am willing. (even if I have to limit my time on Facebook, you are worth it!)