It's Frustrating

The man has been home for 73 hours and has been at work for 18 of them... That is, he got home late Friday night (but you already knew that right? Been keeping up on the blog, right?) Anyway, he got home late Friday night, slept as well as he could for having to readjust to Pacific time and then was called in to work at about 11 am on Saturday. He was there for 6 hours. Thankfully he got most of Sunday off. Today he went in to work as usual at 8 am but he still is not home and it is now 10:30 pm!!!

Sometimes I want to call up someone at his place of employment (doesn't matter who, because it won't make a bit of difference) and just yell and tell them to give him a freaking break. The man deserves some rest and time off but NO... they just keep dragging him back in. Now, I know there are plenty of other people being drug in as well, but goodness, let the guy catch his breath!

Thankfully, the man is better able to deal with this than I am. It makes my eye twitch to think about it. Poor guy was just telling me about all of the things he has been juggling, just trying to keep the balls in the air. I think his arms are getting tired. (I try to help keep his arms up like Aaron did with Moses, but it's hard to help carry burdens that are not within your realm of understanding or ability). One thing is this: He'll keep doing the best he can. And I admire him because he never complains. (I do it for him.)

So do me a favor, okay? Just pray that this week that my man would get some rest and God would give him a vision for his future... what to focus on, new perspective, God's will for his life. Sometimes we can get so weary from juggling that we forget why we are juggling in the first place.

I can't juggle well unless it is homework, dance, school, church, volunteering, SRGC, etc. Ok, I guess I can juggle too. I just wish I could take on some of his stuff... it's frustrating not knowing how to help, other than what I am already doing. I wish I could do more. It's frustrating.

He's Home and He's All Mine!

My man is home. What a relief. Although I did worry that he had a new woman. (Not that I don't trust him, but...) Do you ever do this:

Man is coming into airport and sees you and gives a wave. He does NOT come over and plant a good one on ya, while squeezing your bod and finish by whispering sweet nothings. Since that did not meet your hopeful expectations, your mind goes crazy with stupid thoughts like, "he has a new woman" or "I must look terribly fat in these capris" or "I bet his new woman doesn't look terribly fat in her capris."

When my man goes on these trips to conferences many miles away, he comes home pooped. I mean so pooped he barely knows his name or where he is or anything. The fact that he gave me a wave as he walked in the airport should be my cue to praise him for even recognizing and remembering that he has a wife! But no, I am caught up in some romantic reunion in my brain and so when he doesn't sweep me into his arms, my thoughts go crazy!

No, the man doesn't have anyone else. Just me and my silly thoughts. And he loves me anyway. Even after I ask him "do you have another?" "do I look fat in these capris?"
He just laughs at my ridiculousness and hugs me. That's better... I am satisfied that I am his one and only. I'll give him a day for recuperating, but then he better start sweeping. (Me into his arms that is, since I already cleaned house for his arrival!)

Missing My Man

Oh how I miss this guy... (This photo brings to mind a thousand thoughts... and a smile to my face!) Phil has been in Washington DC for 5 days now and I miss him. We've been doing ok, the girls and I, but there is something about him being so far away that I am really uncomfortable with. I don't know how wives/husbands who have spouses overseas in the military can do it. The idea that something could go wrong here or there and neither of us can be there to take care of it.

What is kind of funny to me is that I was a single mom for over 9 years. I handled things myself. I maintained the house, the chores, the etc. I still do a lot of that now, but the one thing I don't like that I somehow "handled just fine," is the night. I don't like being home alone without my man to protect us. Even the girls are just a little bit insecure... so I guess there is something in that belief that women desire security. When your security flies three thousand miles away, you get just a bit jittery!

But I see a blessing in all of this, and this is why: I remember again how much I really need to rely on God. He truly is my real security, my only hope, my faithful protector, provider, and comfort. He alone is constantly with me. It makes me sad that I forget that, as I look to my husband to fulfill my needs. As I learned at Family Camp this summer, "Thank you Jesus: for my husband, and my kids, and my home. Thank you Jesus, for this opportunity, to give you the praise for, all you have done." (You have to sing it to really get it!) Oh yes, and "Thank You Jesus, for my man now, won't you please bring him, safely home?"

One last thing: we are in a "40 Days" campaign at church, this one focusing on generosity. At small group we agreed to focus on our blessings this week. To think of them, and even to write them down in a journal/notebook. So I am thankful for the chance to recognize that I am blessed in having a wonderfully devoted husband. And a wonderfully devoted God too! (And a thousand other things I am not going to make you read about, which is a blessing for you! haha)

HELP!!

I need help. My blog is boring; I need a new background. And I need to find out how you all add photos of your family members on the side so that the photo isn't so small... see the one of my man? The photo is so small and squished. How can I make the photo size larger?

Please help.

I want my blog to be cool and fun and (insert word that describes something really great!)

Thanks.

Absent

I have been absent from the bloggosphere for awhile. Did you notice? We had vacations and back to school and now I am in the back to regular routine mode. I kind of like structure (aka control freak). I haven't scheduled our dinners for the month yet, but its on the list.

The problem is, a lot of things are on the list. A few months ago I lost my motivation and I still can't find it. Has this happened to you? How did you get your moto back?

Please help. I am cranky without it.

Husband/Wife Chart

Ok, so I am reading on someone's blog about something, darn I can't even remember how I got to this, but anyway, I found these charts for husbands and wives. I printed out the one for wives and gave it to Phil to score me... We were cracking up as he was reading the criteria aloud. He shredded the test before I could see my score, the NERD!!! SO then I took the husband test...

I would suggest that you try it out, but only if your marriage is healthy and can stand a little teasing. Otherwise, it could be an argument instigator, and we wouldn't want that would we?!?! (unless Aunt Flo was in town, then you can look up all the argument instigators you want...)

What Dawn Means

You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row. (Anal is as anal does) You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace. People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality. (DUH) You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. (Best NO, perfectionist? Terribly) You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. (Not confident, it's all show..) You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are very charming... dangerously so. You have the potential to break a lot of hearts. You know what you want, how to get it, and that you will get it (hopefully someday). You have the power to rule the world. Let's hope you're a benevolent dictator! (Only it's the power of the Holy Spirit!!) You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. (But I still manage to stick my foot in my mouth!) You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. (So true!!) You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. (Yeah, so? You still like me though, don't you? I saw that look on your face... )

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Shameless Diva

So I am 34 today. My husband left for work without saying Happy Birthday. If any of you know me that well, it's a felony in my book. My birthday is the day that no matter what the age, I will act like a 5 year old and tell just about everyone what day it is. Yes, shameless diva I am. 364 days of the year I am not the princess. Today I am. Just don't worship me, it's against the rules.

So far I have had a good day. I will post again later when the day is over (don't want to jinx myself).

Hey Y'all

Howdy. Been awhile. Summer is in full swing at our house and we are sooo busy. And yet, I seem to find ways to avoid all the things I need to be doing. Admit it, you do it too! And who can blame us? With such gorgeous weather (although a little too hot lately) why stay inside and clean bathrooms? Though if I don't mop the floor in the kitchen soon, I am afraid I might walk in and find my husband or one of the girls stuck permanently to one of a few sticky spots I have noticed lately...

Life's been so busy lately! Oh, I said that already didn't I? I will list our many activities cause there have been so many...

Phil is hard at work on our basement remodel. God help me learn to trust the man... I am forever trying to "suggest" that he hire someone to do certain things. But he is working so hard and it has been turning out just fine. We finally got our building permit from the city and so he is happy as a clam (sidenote: why are clams so happy?) and has been going gung-ho (what does that mean anyway?). What I mean is that now that we have permission from the local authorities, Phil has been busy cutting up the concrete in our basement. First, part of the floor was cut so that we (haha) can install plumbing for the new bathroom. So here is where it really gets interesting: The saw is gas powered with a garden hose attached. GAS POWERED means EXHAUST. Phil's got the one window downstairs wide open and the door at the top of the stairs open and yet the basement is filling up with exhaust. It is pouring out of the window and I am standing outside the window trying to watch and breathing it all in and getting so high and so sick, and yet he is STILL IN THERE cutting up the stupid floor!!! So I turn on the a/c fan trying to add some fresher air to the mix and all that does is suck it back into the rest of the house... Needless to say, Phil and I were up until 3 am because we were so sick. We just laid there that night... I think our brains were keeping us awake so we could keep breathing... or else lights out forever! Thankfully we were able to get some fresh air circulating about then and cleared out the house. Only to have Phil, fresh from a good night's rest (not) start cutting on the foundation wall so we can put in an egress window. Fortunately, I had brains enough to go to Hahn rental where I got a huge ventilator fan that sucked the exhaust right out of there. Phil has more cutting to do but this will take place outside. Unfortunately for him, it is supposed to be 100+ degrees today and that side of the house is a dry barren wasteland. Ugh...

I have been keeping busy with kids and volunteering. The kids crave structure so I try to find a way to provide some. Every year before school is out I think up ways to keep them fairly occupied but allow some freedom. Every year once school is out I scrap it all and we end up doing close to nothing but getting on each other's nerves. Thankfully, some other moms have gotten a routine going where we go to a park every Wed morning. This is working well and gives us a base activity to work around. I have also found some fun things to do on other days (kids matinee movie, aquatic center, bike rides, crafts, etc).

I was able to squeeze in to a scrap retreat upriver and had a great time. It was a different mix of women than I am used to (my regular scrap divas were not there with me) and it made for interesting dynamics. The cabins we stayed in are cute and the lodge was spacious (I wasn't there the day the a/c quit, haha). I really liked that the retreat center is a place that has been dedicated to the Lord and that there were signs/posters/knick knacks to remind you of such. No alchohol, tobacco, or illegal drugs are allowed and I felt comforted by that. I have had issues with drinking in the past and it is a horrible temptation for me, so while I understand others can indulge, I cannot really even be around it. I felt safe because I knew it wasn't anywhere around us. Jamie was there and had a great mix of tunes for us to listen to. She can be our DJ anytime! I was able to get some layouts done even though I forgot certain things (which my sweet hubby brought to Asotin or drove all the way out to me). No pressure, no overwhelming need to make my layouts a certain way (although I was informed that hot pink is not a good background color unless you want to use it as a way to reflect moonlight in order to find your way to your cabin at 3 am - thanks for the idea!) I also learned about Special Ice (if I was smart enough, I could link to Jamie's blog where you can read all about it) In short, I had a lot of laughter-infused fun! Kristi, let's do it again!

I have been keeping up with volunteering and such as well, but that will be another blog entry. I absolutely must find other ways to avoid what I really should be doing. Oh snap, I think someone is stuck to the kitchen floor. It was inevitable. Better get the mop...

A Little Bit Sad

I am sad. A friend of mine, Andrea, is moving tomorrow to Missoula Montana. She is part of a team that is planting a church there. I am excited for them, but it makes me sad to see her go.

Another friend, Jamie, had a close friend pass away suddenly. It was her dog, and she blogged about him often. Though I never had the pleasure of visiting with him, I felt like I knew him through her posts. It always hurts to have a friend pass on. It reminds me of the many times I have lost my doggie friends. So I am thinking of Jamie tonight as well.

Other than that, I am a little sad because I thought I had been doing better with my eating habits and exercise and so I went ahead and weighed myself. YIKES. I really did think I had lost a pound or two, literally. NOPE I gained a few. It makes me very discouraged. Will I be chubby forever? I know it is affecting my health but I can't seem to break through. This is one of those times when I just want to give up (and go eat a Snickers bar).

What do you do when you are discouraged? I have tried "willpower" (aka "trying harder") and Weight Watchers. Neither are things I can stick with. Any ideas are welcomed... :o)